Ess-Jee Interviewed By Danielle Hampson ;


  Ess-Jee Interviewed By Amanda Beth ;

What would you do if your spouse left you? Would you still be willing to stand for your marriage?

Ess-Jee Rautenbach
is standing for his marriage while his wife is separated from him. He recently wrote in his book, How To Stand For Your Marriage:

"Standing for someone means so much more than just the restoration of your marriage. It means that you are standing with God and for the eternal destiny of your beloved. What an honour to “stand in the gap” for your husband or wife. The world we live in has lost the plot regarding marriages and love. How can we as a church show the world out there what Jesus’ love is about, if we can’t even show that unconditional love is the essence of our marriages or families?"

I recently interviewed Ess-Jee about his marriage and wanted to share his response to give you hope and encouragement to stand strong for your marriage.

Here's his inspiring interview:

How long have you and your wife been separated?

About 3 years


What was the cause of your marriage separation?

Well I think it was a mixture of many things. Many cases we go into marriages with our own perception of what marriage will be like.

So what makes one marriage survive and another end up in divorce or separation? The answer is the willingness to stick it out and treat one’s marriage as a covenant, not a contract, and so abiding with the choice one has made. I think the reason most divorces occur because most people do not understand what God intended love to be. Marriage in our world has lost its Holiness and its sanctity.

The Lord showed me that marriage can also be described as an organism, which contains three participating parts or parties. Each party has a particular role designed for them. Marriage can never stand still; it will always be striving in one of two directions. Either it is growing and developing into something beautiful or it’s shrinking and dying. Marriage goes through five phases of development;

Stage One- Passion prevails

Stage Two- What was I thinking?
Stage Three- Everything would be great if you changed
Stage Four- That’s just the way s/he is
Stage Five- Together, at last

Stages 2 and 3 are really hard ones and where MOST divorces occur. SOMETIMES, because of
a partner’s personality traits, that partner cannot seem to get over the stage 3 hump. They get stuck, and that is NOT beautiful.
So to answer your question; we got stuck between stages 2 and 3. And Lord Jesus was not the foundation of our marriage. Although we claimed He was, He was not.

Are you in contact with your wife?

No, not at the moment. Only in Prayer.

What inspired you to write “How To Stand For Your Marriage?”

Well when my marriage went into troubled waters I couldn’t find the answers I was looking for.

I went to pastors, counselors, family and friends and no one could give me the answers I was looking for. I came to a point in my life and marriage that I didn’t know what do. And nobody could help me.

That is when I cried out to God, and He gave me new hope for me and my marriage.

I got the answer I was searching for. Restoration was my answer I got from God. I had the word "stand" pop up in my heart now and then after that answer, but I didn’t really know what it meant.

The closer I grew to God the more I started to learn and understand what it meant to stand for your marriage.

So the Lord gave me the insight of how one should stand for the healing of ones marriage with Him. So I had it press on my heart to write a book to give people some answers who are going through the same storms I went through in my marriage. I wanted to give people some guidance I couldn’t find in my time of need.

When I read your book, I was deeply moved by the strong love you have for your wife. What advice would you share with those who are struggling with anger and bitterness toward their estranged spouses?

Let Lord invade your heart with His Love and compassion. To forgive the one who wronged you doesn’t make what they did to you right, but it makes you free. Ask God to help you with this. You can’t do it without Him. When forgiveness can start to take place in your heart, the Lord can start with you first. Usually the Lord transforms you first before He starts with your estranged spouse.

When you allow forgiveness to flow into your heart the Lord will give you new eyes. He will equip you to see your spouse with His eyes. You will start to look deeper than flesh. You will see them as the Lord see them. No matter how they act or speak, you will have the ability to see the inner potential they hide deep inside.

You will be able to love them unconditionally like the Lord Loves us. You will experience a love for God and your spouse that you never thought was possible. But all things are possible through our all powerful God who rules over all. To Him goes all the honor and glory forever.

What encouragement can you offer to someone who has lost hope that God will restore their marriage?

Never give up on your marriage. Even if your marriage seems hopeless and dead. There is always hope for you and your marriage. God can breathe back life into your marriage. God heals hurting marriages.

I personally witnessed many marriages where couples were reconciled, restored and their dead marriage was resurrected after they had divorced. Even new love has been ignited in their hearts for one another, through the mighty hand of God. God is not a respecter of person, so what He did for these couples, He can do for you.

Ess-Jee is committed to educate and bring people to God of Heaven. He's hardworking and when he's committed to something, he sticks to it. Ess-Jee Rautenbach stands firm on God’s purpose and offers hope for floundering marriages. Ess-Jee reminds us that we have a great authority to turn to when our marriage falls apart. In addition to being a stander, guide for other standers, and bi-lingual author, Ess-Jee Rautenbach is a really good artist. South African Ess-jee Rautenbach began working with troubled marriages in 2009 after his own marriage hit troubled waters. Since then, "covenant marriage restoration" has become his passion. He has seen marriage after marriage after marriage RESTORED and RENEWED through the simple principles outlined in the oldest book known to mankind, the Bible. In the authors first ground-breaking Christian book, How To Stand For Your Marriage, readers can find the beginnings of new hope for troubled marriages.

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Do you have marital problems? Has your spouse left you? Where do you turn? Who will help you? What do you do? Everyone seems to offer advice and many will encourage and accept divorce as a solution, even some pastors. So many people go through divorce or marriage separation in our society today. In many marriages things just seem hopeless with nowhere to run for help. Marriages have become disposable and if your marriage has developed into a non working part of your life, you will simply cut your losses and find a newer model. This results in so many people walking among us who are carrying guilt, shame and brokenness - just some of the effects of divorce. Divorce is not only the killer of marriages, but the killer of families and the destroyer of our society. Know that there is hope for you and your marriage and there is help available. If you only take one thing from this book, let it be to stick it out in your marriage, and to never give in or over. Marriage fulfils the Ministry of Reconciliation. So make a difference and STAND for your marriage.

*Thank you, Ess-Jee, for sharing your story with us and standing strong for your marriage! God will richly reward you for your perseverance!

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while,“He who is coming will come and will not delay."
—Hebrews 10:35-37

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